Athletes are known for leaving it all on the field: blood, sweat, tears—and sometimes a steaming pile of poop.
It might seem unlikely, but a shocking amount of athletes have crapped themselves in front of thousands of fans, often on live TV. Whether it’s the stress of competition, an ill-timed case of food poisoning, or a chokehold gone wrong, shit happens in sports (literally).
Here’s a rundown of 12 athletes who defecated in the heat of battle—and how we saved many of their asses.
1. Archie Bradley
In 2018, Diamondbacks pitcher Archie Bradley divulged that he accidentally pooped his pants during a “nervous pee” seconds before taking the mound during a matchup against the Astros.
“I’m trying to pee and I actually shit my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.”
As soon as the story surfaced, we sent the D-backs setup man enough DUDE Wipes to keep him pitching “clean” innings for the rest of the season—a story that Yahoo! Sports picked up.
Lesson learned, never leaving home without em. Thanks @DudeWipes !!! #RoadTripNecessities #BYODudeWipes pic.twitter.com/M3VNDE3vOz
— Archie Bradley (@ArchieBradley7) July 9, 2018
2. Robbie Tobeck
In 2001, Seahawks center Robbie Tobeck was battling a case of violent food poisoning so bad he had to quarantine himself. He took the field and tried to tough it out. But when running back Shaun Alexander rammed into him, things took a turn for the worst.
“He knocked the wind out of me…knocked everything else out of me. I would come off to the sideline and there was a bucket there, and the poor guys had to stand around me with a towel,” he says. “I was shitting in a bucket on the sideline during a game.”
3. Kiké Hernandez
Red Sox utility man Kiké Hernandez revealed that he accidentally sharted on the field during the 2020 National League Division Series, blaming the incident on antibiotics that ravaged him with diarrhea.
Once we caught wind of Kiké’s mishap, we sent him enough DUDE Wipes and toilet spray to last the entire season…just in case disaster struck his white pants again.
The story went viral after TMZ covered our “shitty” stunt.
Thanks to the guys @DUDEwipes I’m prepared for my next shart attack! Cuz 💩 happens!! pic.twitter.com/lwxOLQaGow
— Enrique Hernández (@kikehndez) March 14, 2023
4. Gary Lineker
Gary Lineker spent 15+ years as a pro soccer player in England and even represented his country on the international stage. However, he still can’t shake his reputation as the dude who pooped himself on the pitch.
During a 1990 World Cup game against Ireland, the striker crapped himself in the middle of a match and proceeded to wipe his butt on the grass to clean up.
“The ball went left down the Irish left hand side and I ran across and tried to block something. I sort of fell to the ground and relaxed for a second and it just went 'boom'. Thank god I had dark blue shorts on that day. I'm shoveling it out and rubbing myself on the grass like a dog.”
5. Justine Kish
Back in 2017, UFC fighter Justine Kish went viral after she defecated in the octagon during her match. She was trying to escape a rear choke when her bowel betrayed her, leaving a trail of feces on the mat.
Kish lost the fight, but there was a silver, actually brown, lining: she got a shit ton of DUDE Wipes to ensure she never had to “fight dirty” again. Our swift response to Justine’s shitty situation was picked up by HuffPost, BroBible, Maxim, and more.
UFC won't let us sponsor your butt, but we can send you all the wipes you'll ever need
— DUDE Wipes (@DUDEwipes) June 26, 2017
6. Mikael Ekvall
When Swedish runner Mikael Ekvall reached the halfway point of the 2008 Göteborg marathon, his legs weren’t the only things that started to tremble—his bowels did too.
The swede unleashed an eruption of liquid poop mid-race. Powering through the embarrassment (and the stench), Mikael crossed the line with liquified feces trickling down his legs.
“Did you ever consider stopping to clean off?” a reporter asked.
“No, I’d lose time,” he said. “If you quit once, it’s easy to do it again and again and again. It becomes a habit.”
The story became an instant viral sensation, with Ekvall earning the nickname “bajsmannen” (Swedish for “poop man”).
7. The Entire San Francisco Giants Team
The Giants got the wrong kind of runs during a series in Mexico city. In addition to being swept by the Padres, the whole team battled explosive diarrhea.
“I think three-quarters of our clubhouse has the sh*ts,” said pitcher Logan Webb. “Hopefully the sh*t goes away and we’ll be better in a couple of days.”
Fortunately, we stepped in to serve as the Giants’ new cleanup hitter. We sent the squad 100 packs of DUDE Wipes just in case they had to “turn two” in the clubhouse bathroom.
TMZ broke the story and MLB Twitter erupted soon afterward, praising our sh*tty marketing strategy.
8. George Brett
Royals third baseman George Brett’s Hall of Fame career includes 13 all-star selections and a World Series championship. Thankfully, those accomplishments overshadow the time he took a dump on the diamond.
“I had some food poisoning…I take off my letter jacket, tied it around my waist, and it’s just running down my leg.”
Apparently this wasn’t an isolated incident—Brett once claimed he crapped his pants twice a year.
9. Scot Pollard
Scot Pollard, who played five years in the NBA, once said in-game poops were common enough that there was a joke about it in the league: “If you ever see me looking like I pulled my hammy, just know that I sharted.”
The 7-foot center went on to describe a shit-uation that went down in Sacramento.
“I was like, ‘Whoa, uh oh.’ I just acted like I pulled my hamstring and went straight to the locker room. Changed clothes, changed shorts, cleaned up and came running back out.”
10. Roberto Luongo
Former Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo stopped a lot of shots during his career, but he couldn’t stop the shits that struck during a 2007 playoff game against the Ducks.
Luongo left the game briefly to go to the training room, which the team said was due to an “equipment issue.” But Luongo later revealed that his bowels were the real issue.
The goalie was apparently no stranger to tummy troubles.
“I used to take 5-6 poops a day,” said Luongo. “One in the morning when I got up, one when I got to the rink, one after the pre-meal, one after the meeting before the game. The last one was after warmups with all my gear on. I had to use the handicap stall.”
11. Adam Lane Jr.
After taking it to the house, Florida Gators' running back Adam Lane Jr. could be seen walking off the field with a not-so-subtle brown stain on his white pants. Obviously, Lane wasn’t the only thing that “hit the hole” on that play.
But the Gator tailback embraced his accidental deuce. "It was the best thing that could have happened," he told 247Sports. "It got a lot of attention and just put me in a place where I was out there publicly and people knew who I was. I really didn't get a lot of grief from it.”
As you can see, nobody is safe from a shart attack on the field, on the court, or on the ice. Whether you’re a weekend warrior or a pro, always pack a DUDE Wipe for shart insurance.
