The human body has always been a walking odor factory. Butt we can’t ignore what’s obvious: some areas are way worse than others. Your feet? Strong contenders. Your armpits? Perennial finalists. But your butt? Undefeated champion of “please don’t catch a whiff.”
Sure, your rectum’s scent profile probably isn’t something you think about between meetings. But there’s a special kind of confidence that comes from knowing you’re not smuggling a personal funk cloud everywhere you go.
Let’s look at six possible reasons why your butt smells, and what you can do to eliminate that anal aroma.
1. You’re Wiping Your Butt Wrong
Poor wiping habits are the primary culprit for a stinky butt. If you’re pooping in a hurry and don’t wipe thoroughly, the leftovers get lodged in your butt crack. This negligence can cause a chronically itchy butthole, not to mention the stench.
Your wiping direction is also a crucial variable. If you wipe back to front, you smear your poop onto your gooch, which is already one of the most disgusting crevices of the human body.
But even if your wiping game is flawless, your wiping material can spoil your efforts.
You see, wiping with standard toilet paper doesn’t clean the poop off your butthole—it just smears it around. Those fecal remnants cling to your butt hair and fester for hours, leading to an ungodly stench.
What to Do: Ditch your two-ply and switch to flushable wet wipes—specifically ones designed to keep stank at bay.
DUDE Odor Destroyer Wipes are lightly scented with sea salt minerals and engineered to mask butt odor for up to 24 hours. These bad boys are alcohol-free, paraben-free, and hypoallergenic, so they’re gentle on your sensitive sides but tough on whatever’s wafting up from your undercarriage.
2. Swamp Ass
Also known as monkey butt or gooch goop, swamp ass refers to the sweaty mess in your dude regions that gets especially stinky in hot weather.
Your butt area has tons of sweat glands, but contrary to popular belief, butt sweat is actually odorless. However, chafing all day causes that moisture to mix with bacteria, resulting in a horrific stench.
What to Do: If you're away from your home throne, keep some DUDE Wipe Singles on hand to freshen up between meetings. Unlike dry toilet paper, they’re infused with aloe and vitamin E to soothe your nether regions and keep swass at bay.
If you have a hairy bush in your butt crack, manscaping helps to air out the region so your butt can breathe.
Lastly, make sure you give yourself a good scrub with warm water and body wash, especially after an active day.
3. Tight-Fitting Clothes
You may be tempted to show off your gym gains with tight-fitting clothes, but beware that can cause excessive sweating, especially in your genital area. Synthetic fabrics such as polyester and nylon are especially problematic because they’re non-breathable and trap all your tushy odor.
What to Do: Opt for breathable, natural fabrics like cotton and linen for optimum circulation.
4. Hemorrhoids
Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in your butt hole that can develop if you sit for long periods of time, have chronic constipation, or if you have a low fiber diet. It’s a common problem that affects more than 75% of people. Common symptoms are rectal bleeding, itching, and painful bowel movements, but they can also stink if left untreated.
What to Do: Medicated witch hazel wipes can reduce swelling and irritation associated with hemorrhoids. Warm sitz baths and topical ointments like Preparation H also offer relief.
Hemorrhoids typically fade away on their own, but if they don’t go away, talk to your doctor about prescription medications and other treatment options.
5. Anal Abscess
This is a painful, pus-filled swelling near the butthole. Anal abscesses can be caused by blocked anal glands, ingrown hairs, anal fissures, or bacterial infections. They’re usually red, warm to the touch, and release a foul odor if any fluids leak out.
What to Do: Anal abscesses usually require treatment from a doctor who drains the pus so the surrounding tissue can heal. Do NOT try to pop these things on your own—there’s a high risk of infection and even more irritation.
6. Anal Infections
A sweaty butt can cause an overgrowth of fungi in your anal area, leading to yeast infections. These often entail chronic itching and occasional discharge which has a funky stench.
If you have anal sex, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like gonorrhea and chlamydia can cause unpleasant odors if any discharge leaks from the rectum.
What to Do: Depending on what type of infection you have, your doctor may recommend an ointment, cream, or other medicine to clear up your symptoms.
As far as prevention, wearing breathable underwear and bathing thoroughly after exercise will ward off fungal infections.
Don’t Be a Butt Odor Victim
It’s the 21st century—we have the internet in our pockets and self-driving cars. There’s no excuse to walk around every day with a foul-smelling butt. Take control of your anal hygiene: spray it down and get your wipe right.
In the wise words of Dave “El Pres” Portnoy, “When you’re rich, only two things matter: flying private and cleaning your asshole.”
