It doesn’t matter how clean your diet is or how many gut detox supplements you buy. Trying to make your poop smell good is like trying to out-pizza the Hut. Noble, yet futile.
Butt just because the act is natural doesn’t mean the aftermath has to clear a five-foot blast radius. If you’ve ever ripped a deuce in a public restroom and walked out like you didn’t just commit a war crime, you already know the fear of second-hand stank.
Luckily, there are ways to tame the brown dragon. Some involve lifestyle changes. Others involve technology crafted by DUDES, for DUDES. Either way, here are eight ways to make your poop smell less like biological warfare.
1. Drop (or Spray) DUDE Bombs Toilet Deodorizer
Sometimes you don’t have time for kale smoothies and gut-friendly meditation. You just need to take a dump without tanking the air quality. Here are the cheat codes.
DUDE Bombs Blue Blasst
This isn’t your mom’s potpourri. Drop a DUDE Bomb in the toilet before you sit, and it creates a 2-in-1 force field that masks the smell and keeps your toilet bowl smelling fresh AF. Lavender, cedar, lime, and eucalyptus join forces to neutralize even the most aggressive logs.
DUDE Bombs Toilet Spray
If you’re more of a spray-and-pray type, DUDE Bombs Spray lets you walk around like your sh*t literally don’t stank. Pump a couple sprays before you unleash the beast, and it’ll trap the stank before it ever gets a chance to wreak havoc.
2. Avoid Foods High in Sulfur
Some foods are straight-up stink bombs. Eggs, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, garlic—all high in sulfur. Your body digests that stuff and converts it into hydrogen sulfide, AKA the smell of rotten eggs.
You don’t need to quit them cold turkey, but if your dumps are consistently knocking birds out of the sky, maybe skip the cabbage salad before date night.
3. Cut Back On Booze
Alcohol messes with your gut bacteria, dehydrates you, and slows down digestion. Translation: your poop sits longer, ferments harder, and stinks worse.
Ever smelled the morning-after tequila poop? Exactly.
4. Eat Less Fatty Foods
Grease doesn’t digest well, especially in large quantities. High-fat diets lead to slower digestion and oilier poops, which means more time for your dump to marinate in stink and come out smelling like regret.
Dial down the double bacon cheeseburgers and your nose (and toilet) will thank you.
5. Pop a Probiotic
Your gut is basically a war zone of bacteria. Probiotics are like the peacekeeping forces that bring balance to your digestive empire. When your gut flora is in check, your poop is less toxic and smells less like something that died in 1997.
6. Drink More Water
Dehydrated poop is hard, dry, and slow to move, which means it takes forever to leave your body and picks up extra stank points along the way. Hydrated poop? Softer, quicker, and less offensive.
7. Take Care of Your Constipation
The longer poop chills in your colon, the more bacteria works on it. More bacteria = more smell. So if you’re only dropping logs once a week, don’t be shocked when they hit like a chemical weapon.
Fix your constipation (water, fiber, movement) and cut down the fermentation time.
8. Check Your Medicine Cabinet
Some meds can transform your turds into tactical stink bombs. Antibiotics, antidepressants, iron supplements—they can all throw your gut out of whack.
If your poop’s been smelling off since starting a new prescription, talk to your doc. Or at least warn your coworkers.
Can Food Intolerances Make Poop Smell Worse?
Short answer: absolutely.
Lactose intolerance, gluten sensitivity, fructose malabsorption—if your body can’t break it down, your gut’s gonna ferment it and push it out the back door smelling like a science experiment gone wrong.
So if your bathroom turns into a hazmat zone every time you eat pizza, maybe take the hint. Either cut back or prep with a few sprays of DUDE Bombs. Because if you know you’re gonna have that third slice, you can at least be courteous about the aftermath.
What About Medical-Level Smelly Poops?
Beyond diet-related issues, there could be a medical condition behind your unhappy digestive tract. If you have consistently foul-smelling feces (like, unbearably bad) a trip to the gastroenterologist and not merely the DUDE Blog is in order.
This could be a symptom of healthcare issues like celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, irritable bowel syndrome IBS, or inflammatory bowel disorder (IBD).
Walk Around Like Your Sh*t Don’t Stank (Literally)
Just because your poop smells like roadkill on a hot sidewalk doesn’t mean you have to share that with the world. DUDE Bombs were made for this very situation. Whether you’re in a crowded office bathroom or your girlfriend’s tiny apartment with zero ventilation, we’ve got the tools to help you flush the shame and walk out with your dignity intact and your third pit clean.
