Men are sweaty beasts. To be specific, a hard working adult can churn out as much as ten liters a day—that’s almost a thousand gallons of sweat per year.
You probably notice most of your sweat on your face, feet, and armpits. But there’s another part, actually parts, of your body that churns out insane amounts of sweat: your balls.
Sitting in a pool of your own testicular perspiration isn’t just uncomfortable—it causes horrific odors, nasty sweat stains, chafing, itching, and even infections. So, why exactly are your nether regions constantly drenched in sweat? Is there hope? Or are sweaty balls a life sentence?
Stay tuned, because we’re about to drop some dude wisdom to help you live life with a pair of fresh balls.
What Causes Sweaty Balls?
Sweating is an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s essential to regulate your body temperature, which preserves your sperm count. But there are a few factors that can cause sweat below the belt to get out of hand.
1. Warm Weather
Heat and humidity are the main culprits for swamp crotch. Whether you’re in the jungle or a cubicle with broken air conditioning, your body’s natural reaction is to cool off by sweating. However, since your boys are kept in close quarters, the sweat festers all day.
2. Cotton Underwear
There’s a reason athletes don’t compete in cotton clothes: it doesn’t wick away sweat from skin. The same logic applies to your underwear. If you’re rocking a pair of tighty whities, you’re basically suffocating your scrotum in a deadly mosh pit of sweat, body hair, and bacteria.
An estimated 2-3% of people experience hyperhidrosis, a biological disorder that causes overactive sweat glands. If you think you fall into this category, talk to your dermatologist about a prescription antiperspirant.
Side Effects of Sweaty Balls
Sweat is generally harmless. However, if it’s left to fester in your undercarriage, you’re susceptible to a range of miserable consequences ranging from mild itching to a full-blown medical emergency.
For starters, there’s chafing. Sweaty balls, friction, and cotton undies create the perfect storm for chafed balls. Prolonged rubbing on damp skin creates a stinging or burning sensation, which can progress into a painful red rash. At its worst, chafing may include swelling, bleeding, or crusting.
A more serious consequence of sweaty balls is jock itch, also known as tinea cruris. The wrinkles and crevices in your scrotum are an ideal breeding ground for mold-like fungi called dermatophytes, which multiply when you sit in sweat-soaked underwear for prolonged periods of time. An overgrowth of dermatophytes in your crotch causes jock itch, which is equal parts contagious and miserable.
If you feel like you’re doomed to be a chafing, disease-carrying sweat machine, fear not—there’s hope.
How to Stop Swamp Crotch
Alec Baldwin famously quipped on Saturday Night Live, “No one can resist my schweddy balls.” But let’s face it: swamp crotch is man’s mortal enemy. Fortunately, there are a few simple steps you can take to reclaim control over your scrotum’s sweat glands.
1. Use Talc-Free Body Powder
Body powder (AKA ball deodorant) is arguably the most slept-on male grooming product. It absorbs sweat, cools your crotch, and prevents chafing—a trifecta for your family jewels. Beware of old school body powders that contain talcum, which can form clumps on your skin when it comes in contact with moisture.
If you want to keep your boys breezy without clumps of talcum stuck to your nuts, snag a bottle of DUDE Powder Menthol Charcoal Chill. This talc-free, deodorizing, cornstarch based body powder is infused with natural odor fighting ingredients like organic aloe vera and peppermint for long lasting stank protection.
2. Wear Breathable Boxers
Airing out your sweaty, stinky balls in public is generally frowned upon, but the next best thing you can do is wear breathable, moisture-wicking boxers. This will allow air in your groin area to circulate, keeping swass at bay.
3. Bathe Your Balls
Keeping your private parts clean won’t necessarily stop them from sweating, but it will keep them dry and clean which greatly reduces your risk for developing swamp crotch or jock itch.
Your sack deserves a skincare routine just like the rest of your body. Make sure you’re using a natural body wash with essential oils and a fresh scent. Once you’re out of the shower, dust your cajones with some Menthol Chill DUDE Powder.
It’s time your boys down below get the love they deserve. With the right products and proper care, you’ll have the freshest nuts in town.