It’s midnight, you’re half-asleep, mourning your fantasy football league standings, and your stomach growls. So you raid the kitchen for a leftover slice of pizza, or maybe a handful of stale pretzels.
And then the next morning? Nothing. Your bowels go on strike. No wonder 16% of DUDEs are constipated—we’re stuffing ourselves with snacks that taste good but leave our guts high and dry.
Here’s the good news: If you can’t clear the pipes in the morning, you don’t need laxatives, or a colon cleanse kit from the depths of Instagram. You just need a trip to your local bean aisle. Because there’s one late-night snack that doubles as a bathroom MVP: chickpeas.
How Chickpeas Help Constipation
A shocking 95% of Americans aren’t getting enough fiber in their daily diet. And without fiber, your stool goes from a smooth exit to a traffic jam.
That’s where chickpeas come in. These little beige nuggets are fiber bombs, packing around 12 grams per cup. Fiber bulks up your stool, draws in water, and gives your intestines something solid to push along. Translation: You go from straining on the porcelain throne to dropping logs like nature intended.
But chickpeas don’t stop at fiber. They’re also loaded with prebiotics—the food your good gut bacteria thrive on. Feed those bacteria and they’ll reward you with smoother digestion and less bathroom drama. On top of that, chickpeas come with bonus nutrients like protein, iron, and magnesium, so you’re not just helping your poop—you’re fueling the rest of your body, too.
Pro tip: Wash ‘em down with water. Fiber without water is like shoving sawdust down a drain. You need the liquid to keep everything moving slick and smooth.
5 Ways to Eat Chickpeas Before Bed
Sure, you could pop open a can and eat them with a spoon. But unless you’re trying to scare your roommates, here are some less feral ways to snack:
- Roasted Chickpeas: Toss canned chickpeas in olive oil, salt, and spices. Roast until crunchy. It’s like popcorn that actually helps you poop.
- Hummus & Veggies: A classic. Carrots, celery, pita chips—whatever you’ve got. Dip and dunk your way to digestive bliss.
- Chickpea Salad: Mash chickpeas with a little mayo, lemon, and herbs. Spread on crackers or toast. Boom: late-night tuna salad vibes without the fish smell.
- Crispy Store-Bought Snacks: Don’t want to cook? Grab a bag of those trendy chickpea puffs or crunchy roasted varieties. Fiber in a bag, no dishes required.
- Soup or Stew Leftovers: If you’ve got a chickpea-based soup in the fridge, heat it up. Cozy, filling, and tomorrow’s toilet session will thank you.
What Chickpeas Can’t Fix
Before you go shoving hummus in your face every night, know this: Chickpeas help most of the time, but they’re not magic.
- If your constipation is chronic, painful, or comes with weird symptoms (bleeding, dramatic weight changes, etc.), you need a doc, not a snack hack.
- Certain meds, underlying GI issues, or structural problems may override all the fiber in the world.
- Also, too much fiber, especially introduced suddenly, can cause gas, bloating, or cramp city. Ease in.
Grab a Pack of Wipes On Your Way to the Bean Aisle
Adding chickpeas into your late-night routine might make your mornings more…explosive. And while that’s great for your digestive confidence, it can be rough on your backside. That’s where DUDE Wipes come in.
The only thing worse than being constipated is unleashing a fiber-fueled dump and leaving your butt raw from cheap TP. Snack smart, hydrate, let the chickpeas do their thing. And keep DUDE Wipes close. Constipation sucks, but chapped cheeks are next-level misery.
