If you’re hunched on the toilet, phone in hand, furiously Googling “why can’t I poop,” you’ll be served a buffet of ads for laxatives, detox teas, and questionable gut supplements that promise to blast your pipes clean. But before you drop $30 on a colon cleanse kit, the solution might be much cheaper.
Because according to TikTok (and an actual doctor), the answer might be making a noise straight out of the barnyard. Yes, we’re talking about mooing like a cow while you’re parked on the porcelain.
Sounds dumb? Maybe. But there’s some legit science behind this one. Here’s what the “poop moo” is, why it works, and what the internet thinks about serenading your bathroom walls with livestock impressions.
The Moo Method, Explained
While scrolling TikTok on the toilet, we stumbled across a video from Dr. Karan Rangarajan, (AKA Dr. Karan Rajan) a surgeon with over 5 million followers, who dropped this gem of advice:
"Pretend you’re blowing bubbles, puffing out a candle, or making an elongated mooooo. These actions help control the exhalation phase of breathing, which activates your vagus nerve. That nerve, in turn, tells your intestines to start their wave-like contractions, which help move stool through your colon."
As Dr. Rajan put it, “This means more wave-like contractions of your intestines and a good poop coming to a toilet near you.”
How Does Mooing Make You Poop?
Glad you asked.
What Dr. Rajan is describing is basically a light version of the Valsalva maneuver: the same internal physics you get from squatting or holding your breath and pushing. The “moo” helps increase intra-abdominal pressure, which encourages your colon to do its job without you turning purple from straining.
It’s not just about pushing poop out. It’s about making sure your pelvic floor muscles are in sync, so the whole exit strategy is smoother. Less brute force, more teamwork. Why does this matter? Because straining on the toilet isn’t just uncomfortable. It’s one of the main culprits behind hemorrhoids.
For the uninitiated (lucky you), hemorrhoids are swollen, inflamed veins around your anus or lower rectum. They can cause bleeding, itching, burning, and the kind of discomfort that makes sitting down feel like punishment. Hemorrhoids happen when you’re constipated, straining too hard, or sitting on the toilet long enough to doomscroll through your entire TikTok “For You” feed.
Mooing might not make your bowel movements glamorous, but it could help you avoid a lifetime of donut cushions and awkward pharmacy purchases.
TikTok Reviews: Mixed, As Always
No poop hack goes unjudged on TikTok. The comment section for Dr. Rajan’s video was predictably divided:
- “Tried the moo sound. Not a great option at the office bathrooms.”
- “Tried this trick this morning and it actually worked! No more straining for me. Who knew blowing bubbles could be so helpful?”
- “Blowing your nose while sitting on the toilet does the same thing too.”
Some swore by it. Others swore never to try it. And a few probably wondered how they ended up listening to farm animals in their feed while trying to unclog their intestines.
The Bottom Line on Poop Hacks
There’s no shortage of “poop hacks” floating around the internet. We’ve covered everything from squat positions to splash-zone tricks with toilet paper. Mooing might be the weirdest one yet, but if it works for you, who cares how ridiculous it sounds?
At the end of the day, the best poop hack is whatever actually gets the job done. Whether that’s mooing on the toilet, slugging prune juice, or just remembering to drink a glass of water once in a while, your bowels don’t care about your pride. But they do care about your clean-up method.
If you’re going to experiment with cow calls in your bathroom, keep DUDE Wipes within arm’s reach. No matter how you get things moving, the aftermath is always the same, and the only thing worse than constipation is wiping with sandpaper.
