Whether you're pooping at the office, at your significant other's place, or in your own bathroom before company arrives, you're under immense pressure to eliminate that nasty stench before anyone catches on.
Everyone poops (yes, even girls), but no one wants to bear the shame of exposing innocent bystanders to the aftermath of your bowel movement.
The human nose is particularly sensitive to the smell of poop (an evolutionary trait to keep us away from dangerous bacteria), so you'll need to get creative with your anti-odor tactics to outsmart Mother Nature.
This article covers seven tips to make your poop smell disappear and leave the bathroom smelling fresh.
1. Drop a DUDE Bomb
DUDE Bombs are a 2-in-1 odor eliminator and toilet bowl freshener. The pods contain lavender, cedar, lime, eucalyptus, and baking soda to destroy all evidence of your dump.
Just drop a DUDE Bomb in the toilet bowl before you go poop. This creates an indestructible barrier that traps stenches in the toilet and instantly neutralizes odors floating in the air. You can literally walk around like your s*** doesn't stank.
2. Turn on the Fan
This might seem basic, but it's easy to overlook the fundamentals when you're desperate to mask bathroom odors. You need to dilute the poop particles in the bathroom air, and the most efficient way to do that is with a fan. The key is turning on the fan before getting comfy on the toilet seat to ensure maximum airflow.
If there's no fan in the restroom, open a window. Any type of ventilation works here.
3. Light a Match
This is one of the oldest hacks to quickly get rid of bathroom odors. Light a match, let it burn for 5-10 seconds, blow it out, and run it under the faucet before tossing it in the trash can.
Lighting a match produces sulfur dioxide, an odor diffuser that smells stronger than farts and feces. This technically doesn't eliminate unpleasant smells like the last two tips, but it does mask them if you're in a pinch.
4. Do a Courtesy Flush
Flushing multiple times during your bowel movement minimizes the buildup of poo stench since the particles don't have a chance to waft up. Don't take our word for it, though. Here's Chris Pratt's breakdown of the courtesy flush:
"If you have to poop at a party, but you're embarrassed because you're gonna stink up the bathroom, just do what I do and lock the door, sit down, get all the pee out first, OK? And then, once all the pee is done, poop, flush, boom! You minimize the amount of time that the poop is touching the air because if you poop first, it takes you longer to pee, and then you're peeing on top, then it's stirring up. Just trust me, it's science."
A courtesy flush also ensures that no remnants of turd-stained toilet paper linger in the toilet water—a less stinky but equally damning form of evidence that you dropped a deuce. Don't get too aggressive with your courtesy flushes; otherwise, you'll jack up the toilet tank. Calling a plumber in the middle of the workday is way more embarrassing than a bit of poop smell
5. Spray Air Freshener
If you take a smelly dump in someone else's bathroom, finding a can of air freshener can be a lifesaver. Air fresheners can be harsh enough to pierce your nostrils. But if you have to choose between the foul smell of fecal matter and the scent of pine trees, always opt for the latter.
The key here is finding the right balance: spraying too much leaves an overpowering chemical scent, but if you don't use enough, it'll smell like you pooped in a pine forest.
6. Use Hair Spray or Perfume/Cologne
Most grooming products with strong fragrances can replace air fresheners in an emergency. That includes perfume, cologne, hair spray, or even breath spray. Do one puff in the toilet and one puff in the air—you're all set.
7. Make a DIY Spray
If you don't have any air freshener or fragrances, you can make a DIY deodorizer with a spray bottle and some rubbing alcohol. If you're feeling fancy and have the time, add some essential oils like lavender, peppermint, or lemon, which have antifungal properties. Spritz the toilet bowl a few times to kill the bad smell from your #2.
Say Goodbye to Second-Hand Stank
Many people are forced to decide between holding in their poop and exposing others to their toxic fumes. Both can have awful consequences. Luckily, you don't have to let that foul odor from your booty jack up your swag. With DUDE Bombs, you can exit the bathroom with confidence—no matter how bad your poop smells.