Do you feel lethargic? Have you lost your spark in the bedroom? If so, some strange influencers have a suggestion: sunbathe your butthole.
Social media is the wild west of wellness trends, many of which dwindle after their fifteen minutes of fame. But it’s hard to ignore the tribe of dudes (and chicks) who practice perineal sunning: a modern health hack with ties to ancient Taoist practices.
Some alternative wellness influencers claim perineum sunning improves your energy levels and enhances your libido. However, medical professionals disagree—shocker, right?
Here at DUDE HQ, we stay privy to all butt-related news. Accordingly, we investigated the origins of perineum sunning, its alleged benefits, and risks to keep in mind before you drop your drawers.
What Is Perineum Sunning?
As the name implies, perineum sunning is a “wellness” practice that involves exposing your perineum to the sun for a short period of time—usually 30 seconds to five minutes max. It’s also called perineal sunning, taint tanning, and butthole sunning.
Curious how to catch some rays on your third pit? Look no further than ra_of_earth, whose perineum sunning video went viral on Instagram back in 2019.
Below, you’ll see Ra (the guy sporting a man bun) gesturing toward three naked men lying spread eagle, absorbing the sun’s ultraviolet rays into their bare buttholes.
“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node [the sun] than an entire day outside with your clothes on,” Ra says.
The “bum sunners,” as Ra calls them, describe the sensation as “warm,” yummy,” and “nourishing like mother’s milk.”
What’s the Point of Perineum Sunning?
Contrary to popular belief, the goal of perineum sunning isn’t to tan your nether regions. Instead, it’s about maximizing the “life force” in your body since your gooch is apparently a gateway to that stuff.
We were confused when we saw this, so we looked up one of the internet’s foremost experts on butthole sunning, Metaphysical Meagan.
“In Taoism, the perineum is called the ‘Gate of Life and Death.’” she explains on a NSFW Instagram post. “This is a gateway where energy enters & exits the body…Perineum sunning prevents the leakage of chi or life force energy from the body.”
To reap the benefits, Megan starts every day with five minutes of perineum sunning.
“30 seconds of sunlight on the perineum is equivalent to being in the sun all day with your clothes on,” she claims. “I no longer rely on coffee for energy to start my day because I am getting my energy from the sun.”
Bold claims, for sure. But they don’t stop there.
Alleged Benefits of Perineum Sunning
Your body needs direct sunlight to produce vitamin D, but you don’t have to expose your bare asshole to get the same benefit.
There’s zero evidence that butthole sunning has any health benefits. But that hasn’t stopped the self-care mob from making outrageous claims. Here are some we found:
1. Better Sleep
Metaphysical Megan claims that perineum sunning “regulates the circadian rhythm and promotes deeper sleep.”
2. More Energy
It’s believed that absorbing solar energy through the taint prevents the “leakage” of chi—or life force—out of the body.
3. Enhanced Libido
The technique is said to regulate hormone function in the sex organs, whatever that means.
“Sunlight has excellent germicidal qualities, and exposure to the sun will help keep the anal and vaginal areas healthy and free of germs,” writes Dr. Stephen T. Chang in his 1986 book The Tao of Sexology.
5. Higher Testosterone Levels
Some guys claim bathing your scrotum in sunlight boosts testosterone levels since this hormone is produced in the testicles. However, the data on sun exposure and test levels is shaky at best.
Is Perineum Sunning Safe?
Since your butthole rarely sees the light of day, you could get a sunburn if you sit out for too long. That risk is low considering you’re only supposed to go for five minutes, max. But Josh Brolin, star of Avengers and No Country for Old Men, wasn’t so lucky.
“Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about, and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did,” he wrote on Instagram. “My pucker hole is crazy burned, and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family, and instead, I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.”
Metaphysical Megan advises explicitly against using sunscreen when sunning your perineum. But after Josh’s burnt butthole testimony, we’re torn on the issue.
Treat Your Taint with DUDE Wipes
Tempting as it may be to take a dose of vitamin D straight to the taint, there are better things you can do for your butthole.
If you’re wiping with dry toilet paper, no amount of sunlight is going to relieve your chapped, itchy anus. That’s a job for DUDE Wipes, which are infused with aloe and vitamin E to soothe your sensitive sides.
We can’t say our wipes will make you one with the universe, but we can say you’ll feel a helluva lot fresher below the belt.