In case you haven’t noticed, we have a very sh***y sense of humor over here at DUDE HQ. From shitposting on LinkedIn to trolling Big Toilet Paper brands with memes, we’re the self-proclaimed kings of potty humor.
Whether you need some entertainment during your time on the porcelain throne or you want to make your coworkers super uncomfortable during your next Zoom call, we’ve got 21 classic poop jokes that’ll make you laugh your ass off.
Poop jokes aren’t our favorite kind of joke, but they’re a solid number two.
21 Explosively Funny Poop Jokes
1. Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out.
2. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.
3. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't budget.
4. Why did the war hero flush the toilet? It was his doody.
5. What did the toilet say before it stopped working? "I'm too old for this shit."
6. What do you call a dollar bill you’ve been sitting on for a few hours? Gas money.
7. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad Shooter.
8. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary: it runs in your jeans.
9. What did the poop say to the fart? “You blow me away.”
10. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Dung-arees.
11. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? No, I won’t smell your poo.
13. I like toilets for two reasons. Number one and number two.
14. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
15. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
16. What do you call a guy who brings toilet paper to the birthday party? She was a party pooper.
17. Where do cavemen poop? In a Neander-stall.
18. How can you unlock a toilet when you are in a hurry? With a doo-key.
19. Why couldn’t the toilet paper roll cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
20. Why did the turd fail his driving test? He left too many skid marks.
21. What happened to the guy who ate too much alphabet soup? He had the biggest vowel movement of his life.
As you can see, it’s true what they say about poop jokes: the punchlines are always shit.
