Some lucky dudes can drop a deuce anytime, anywhere. But for those who are less fortunate, the fear of taking a dump somewhere besides their own personal throne goes from mild discomfort to full-blown panic.
This isn’t just about avoiding sketchy gas station bathrooms off the highway. We’re talking about a legit fear of public pooping that could make you skip dates, avoid road trips, and hold it in for an alarming amount of time just to avoid the possibility of anyone hearing what’s going on in stall number three.
Butt luckily, you don’t have to let your fear of public pooping control your life (or your bowels). In this article, we’ll break down the psychology behind toilet anxiety and how to conquer it for good.
How to Know If You Have a Shy Bowel
We’ve all delayed a dump before, whether it’s because you’re at your in-laws’ house, someone splattered the Starbucks toilet seat with diarrhea, or the smell in the office bathroom stall is bad enough to knock you out. So, how do you know if your resistance to letting it rip is a legit social phobia?
To develop an official criteria for shy bowel (AKA parcopresis) researchers developed a “Shy Bladder and Bowel Scale,” which included the following questionnaire:
- I can’t poop when other people around other people in a bathroom
- I avoid pooping, even if I get the urge to go
- I worry I can’t empty my bowels if other people are nearby
- My bowel habits are the biggest contributor to my anxiety levels
- My bowel habits reduce my quality of life
- My bowel habits make me feel frustrated
If those statements sound familiar, there’s a solid chance you’ve got a case of toilet anxiety.
The Fear of Pooping in Public, Explained
Whether you call it toilet anxiety, a shy bowel, or parcopresis, this disorder boils down to the fear that pooping in public spaces will turn into a horror show—whether it's about the cleanliness of the bathroom, the sound of a turd splashing into the water, the inevitable stench, or just the idea of not being able to go when nature calls.
Anywhere between 6.5% and 32% of people have a fear of pooping in public, according to ToiletAnxiety.org (yes, this is a real support group). There’s not a ton of official research on the topic because, shocker, no one really wants to admit they’re terrified of public restrooms. However, some researchers believe it’s rooted in fears of being judged for the smell or sound of their bowel movements.
For some, this phobia isn’t just a mild inconvenience; it’s a full-blown life-ruiner. Professional, social, and even romantic relationships can suffer because, let’s be honest, it’s hard to focus on anything when you’re constantly plotting escape routes to the nearest acceptable bathroom.
Interestingly, there appears to be an overlap between a fear of pooping in public and a fear of peeing in public (AKA shy bladder or paruesis), which affects up to 16% of people according to a 2019 research review.
4 Symptoms of a Shy Bowel
Parcopresis comes with a whole grab bag of awkward symptoms, making the simple act of defecating in public feel like a high-stakes performance. Here are a few signs you're dealing with a shy bowel.
1. Constipation in Public Bathrooms
You physically can’t go, no matter how much you need to. It's like your bowels decide to stage a protest the second they sense someone else within a mile of the restroom.
2. Not Eating to Minimize the Chance of Pooping
If you’ve ever skipped a meal just to make sure you won’t have to take a dump later, you’re not alone. It’s the “empty stomach, empty bathroom” strategy, where your fear of having to poop in public overrides the basic human need to eat.
3. Avoiding Situations Where the Toilet Situation Is Uncertain
Ever turned down a party invite because you weren’t sure what the bathroom situation would be? Welcome to the world of shy bowel logic. Events with questionable toilet access become major sources of stress, and before you know it, your social calendar is as empty as the restroom you wish existed.
4. You Feel Anxious When You Get the Urge to Go
If you face the need to poop someplace you’re not comfortable, you might deal with symptoms like an increased heart rate, sweating, breathing quickly, muscle tension, and nausea—all of which cause your bowels to slow to a halt.
6 Tips to Conquer Your Fear of Pooping in Public
Here are some practical tips to tackle your toilet troubles so you can let it rip whenever nature calls.
1. Bring DUDE Bombs to Mask the Stench
Worried about the stench of your dumps giving away your dirty deed in the public bathroom? Drop a DUDE Bomb toilet deodorizer or spritz some DUDE Bombs Spray to throw you fellow poopers off your scent. You can literally walk out of the stall like your shit don’t stank.
2. Create a Toilet Paper Sound Buffer
If the fear of your acoustics is holding you back, laying down some toilet paper in the bowl can definitely help. A few sheets of TP floating on the water acts like a soundproofing layer, muffling any splashy sound effects that might otherwise broadcast your business to the world.
3. Do a Courtesy Flush
As soon as your turd hits the water, flush immediately. Not only does a courtesy flush reduce the chances of any unpleasant odors lingering, it also helps mask any suspicious sounds.
4. Deep Breathing
When anxiety kicks in, so does the muscle tension. Practicing some deep breathing exercises or even a quick mindfulness routine can help calm your mind and relax your body enough to get the job done. It sounds basic, but a few deep inhales and exhales can take the edge off.
5. Time Your Trips to the Can
If the thought of a crowded bathroom makes your bowels go on lockdown, try to take your dumps during off-peak times. Our unofficial research shows that mornings, mid-afternoons, or non-lunch hours are usually less chaotic, meaning fewer people around to stress you out.
6. Talk It Out
If your shy bowel is sabotaging your social life or your health, it might be time to see a therapist—especially one trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). They can help you rewire your brain’s response to public pooping situations, making it less about panic and more about pooping.
Poop Proudly, DUDES
Sure, skipping a bowel movement at the office holiday party might make you feel safe in the short term. But making a habit of holding in your poop can create way more problems than it solves. Ignoring the urge to go can cause bowel health issues like fecal impaction, anal fissures, hemorrhoids, and bowel perforation (which is as brutal as it sounds).
Do your body a favor and obey nature’s call, even if it means making a noisy splash or leaving behind the scent of whatever you ate for lunch.
We might not be able to cure your shy bladder. Butt we can eliminate your risk of a dry, itchy b-hole. DUDE Wipes are infused with soothing aloe and vitamin E, so even if your brain is upset, your butt will be happier than ever.
